The Courage to Change Your Mind
How one scientist's love for science meant walking away from her family's anti-vaccine beliefs
A few weeks ago, my colleagues introduced me to a young woman who was raised in an anti-vaccine household and has since become a scientist and vaccine advocate. Her journey is not uncommon, but it was and continues to be very challenging. I’m grateful she trusted me to share her story with all of you, with the hope that as you all gather for the holidays, you will feel encouraged as you navigate tough conversations about science, public health, and politics. In case you missed it, fellow science communicators From the Science Classroom by Science Whiz Liz and Annicka Evans, PhD ) and I shared a resource on Instagram this week about exactly that: Table Talk: Tips for Hard Conversations Over the Holidays. Please take a look and share it widely. We hope it helps!
To protect her privacy, I’ll refer to the author of this story as M. I am sharing her story below with an invitation to submit questions in the comments—they can be questions about M’s story, questions you’re struggling to answer, or questions about anything related to the topics below.
Wishing you all a happy, healthy, and peaceful holiday.
JMR
I stood before my middle school classmates and explained the supposed harms of vaccines because I loved my mom and wanted to make her proud. All my life, my mother had been devoted to exposing what she believed was a vast conspiracy to obscure the dangers of vaccines, and I spent my childhood immersed in her world of paranoia. By high school I was skeptical of sunscreen and Wi-Fi, and I warned friends that the HPV vaccine causes cancer. My mom was thrilled I was following in her footsteps and sang my praises to all her closest friends. When I was a teenager, she was appointed to the board of a prominent anti-vaccine organization. Over the years, I accompanied my mom to events where, among other noteworthy anti-vaccine-activists, I met RFK Jr., whom everyone called “Bobby.” One summer we visited the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts, where Bobby took us sailing. My mom must be knowledgeable and well-informed to have gotten these opportunities, right?
The first major challenge to my worldview came in the summer of 2020, as I prepared to move across the country to start college in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. Unlike so many students around the country, I was given the opportunity to attend in-person, but only if I received the MMR and Tdap vaccines. I had to choose between my relationship with my mom and education. I chose my future, receiving two vaccines that summer, my first in over sixteen years.
That decision marked the erosion of my once-close relationship with my mother. When I refused her offer of what was likely a forged medical exemption, she knew what I had done. To her, it was the ultimate betrayal. I started college with plans to pursue a career in medicine. As I learned the basics of biology and chemistry, I hoped we could connect over our shared passion for science and begin to repair our relationship. I was eager to discuss my coursework with my mother, who often boasted about the extensive research she had done to come to her conclusions.
As mRNA vaccines for COVID-19 were being developed, I learned about messenger RNA in introductory biology. When I spoke to my mom about mRNA, she couldn’t explain its function. Yet she was preaching to thousands about the supposed harms of mRNA vaccines. I wondered how she could make such claims without even a basic scientific foundation. As I learned more, I started seeing that she and her fellow advocates were not nearly as knowledgeable as I’d thought.
At the end of my freshman year I had the opportunity to get the COVID-19 vaccine. This was one of the most difficult times of my life. I would not have made the appointment without my boyfriend sitting beside me, physically helping me click the button to sign up. I was simultaneously terrified of being injured by the vaccine and of further shattering my relationship with my mom. I tried not to tell her, but it’s hard to keep secrets from your mom as honesty was one of the core values my parents emphasized growing up. Four years later, I still find it incredibly challenging to get vaccinated. Years of anti-vaccine rhetoric left me with a deep phobia; I often break down after a vaccination. This has improved as I’ve slowly begun to catch up on my shots, but I still struggle.
After receiving my bachelor’s degree in neuroscience, I began my career studying how viruses contribute to autoimmune disease. I met the scientists my mom and her friends had lambasted as “evil” and “bought off by Big pHARMa.” It was humbling and disorienting to find that the researchers I now respect had been the target of my childhood scorn.
I thought I was free from my mom’s anti-vaccine world until November of 2024, when Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was nominated to be Secretary of Health and Human Services. The people I had tried so hard to escape for the last four years were now poised to take over our nation’s healthcare. My heart broke because I am deeply familiar with the anti-vaccine community and their agenda. More familiar names kept being hired for senior positions within HHS. Each announcement felt like a blow. Then Secretary Kennedy began to act. He dismissed every member of the CDC’s vaccine advisory committee, fired the top scientists at CDC, rolled back COVID-19 vaccine recommendations, slashed funding from mRNA vaccine research, and purged thousands of people from federal health agencies. All of this was eerily familiar to the plans that I had been exposed to through my mother’s work.
I know what it is like to live in Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s America. I grew up “drinking the raw milk.” I was lucky to only be damaged psychologically. I have truly seen both sides of this issue. I understand that both sides believe they are saving children’s lives, as my mom believed she was saving mine. My community protected me from the diseases I wasn’t vaccinated against through herd immunity and each parent’s decision to vaccinate their children. If Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is allowed to continue his agenda, more children will grow up like I did, but without this protection.
I can no longer stand by and watch as more people fall victim to the health misinformation that plagued my childhood. In a way, I am still following in my mother’s footsteps—speaking out for injustice I see in the medical system—but now I speak to protect public health and to prevent other children from living in the conspiratorial world of my childhood.
—M
Greatly appreciate you sharing M’s story. Thank you.
This is so powerful. Thank you for your courage!!